we hung out....and i gotta say taht was the longest 30 minutes of my life....
every single second...i wanted to say something. i wanted to yell. i wanted to scream. i wanted to cry. i wanted to hit something. i jsut couldnt get it out though. i couldnt find the words to tell you how i felt.
now that i think about it...i always had trouble telling you how i really felt. i have always gotten too nervous about what you might say or what you might think....man. love stinks. when you love someone and they dont love you back!!! its the worst feeling in the world! i hope you will never feel that way. i hope i didnt make you feel that way....
dont worry about limiting our time together. and dont even dare try avoiding me. that will make friendship between you and me...that much worse. we are friends. so treat me like one and i will do the same. and thats it.
i dont know if i even want to hang out with you anymore....or even talk to you. it hurts too much. so thats why you dont gotta worry about limiting our time. if we never hang out...then whats there to limit?
you gave me back all my stuff...but to be honest. i dont want any of it. it jsut reminds me of you...and only you. and you deleted the text app on the itouch prbly cuz you didnt want me to know who you texted and what your texts were about. you got nothing to hide from me. im your friend not your enemy.
im giving you what you want so here it is
i was never enough for you...you were always so hard to please. you said i was hard to please? i gave you everything i had...and it still wasnt enough.
have a good life. and for you its prbly one that you dont want me involved in. it seems like you were always avoiding me. BUT WHY? if you never wanted me then you shoulda told me from the beginning! im starting to think...she led me on, she used me.
being your friend isnt what i want. but im willing to sacrifice what i want for you! love is sacfrice. God sacrificed his only begotten son for us. for our sins. he did it to demonstrate his ultimate and perfect love. i love you! and therefore thats enough for me! i dont care if you hate me! i dont care if you used me or led me on! i love you! and thats the only thing taht matters. when i die...thats what i will rememeber. when you die, thats what you will remember.
i just dont know what you want from me. im trying to be your friend...you said thats what you wanted! but you just keep pushing me away. the more you push...the more i just walk away. im not gonna pull. if you dont want me here. then i will leave. i wont fight back. im tired of fighting back. you dont want me to fight back.
i have always wanted what you wanted....i jsut never wanted this. i never wanted you to let me go....thats the only thing that i will never let myself want.
"Trust in the LORD and do good;
Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.
Delight yourself in the LORD;
And He will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD,
Trust also in Him, and He will do it.
Psalm 37:3-5"
my heart desires you kimmy....and i will remain faithful to you. i promise to you right now. i will never date another girl the rest of highschool ever...unless you come back to me. i may go to dances with other girls but i will never date them. you have my heart. and thats the only thing you did not return to me today. but just like you said when i asked, "did you want taht heart back?" and then you said, "no, its yours."
my heart is yours too kimmy. when you said that. it really spoke to me. it felt like you were trying to say..."my heart is yours" to me. well it prbly doesnt mean anything and you prbly didnt intend it to mean that...but thats what i heard.
my heart is and always will be yours kimmy. you are the only girl that i will be faithful to. you have become a part of me...and i cant let you go. so thats the truth. and i cant do anything about it. when you are in love...you are in love. no questions asked. the truths the truth, any changes made to the truth...is a lie.
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