there is a fine line between what you want and what you need. its up to you decide. i have been having a difficult time trying to determine what i want, but i do know what i need. i need God in my life. thats what i need. i need to take care of my lil bros and my family and make sure i can be the best friend, person, son, brother, and student i can be.
i dont know what i want anymore. i sort of feel like a mindless nomad right now...i dont know where to go. i can do what i like but i wont. i should do what i need to and i would, if i could, but i cant. life gets worse before it gets better.....and lately its been pretty bad. but i aint gonna give up....im gonna keep pushing forward and be the best i can be. im gonna try my best....but its so hard. i want to forget her...but i cant. i dont want her to forget me...and she will, but i wont. i want to get back together but it wont happen. i want to be alone...but i want someone to hold my hand while im alone. i hope she doesnt hate me....i dont get why i miss her so much. i was such a big jerk. i still screw up the things i say to her. i need to move on.....i want to move on...but i cant. at least right now....but i will move on. i need to move on. life keeps on going and its up to me if i want to follow time's lead or fall behind. theres no shortcuts....i wish there were but there arent. Luckily enuff i got God on my side to make it a bit easier. DOODE...i hate being this sad! why am i so sad?! AAAHHHHH.....do i miss her??? whats to miss?? we are still friends....we didnt lose anything....and yet, i feel like i lost everything. the only thing we lost is the title... and that title doesnt matter. Im glad i could talk to her normally like a friend....but i miss those good times we had together where i just looked into her eyes and just felt at peace. You really dont know what you got until its gone, and you really dont know what you got until that thing or person is gone twice...im gonna treat her the same way i always have...i still care about her and that will never change. i gave her some of my chocolate and im not planning on taking it back. she once told me that love is like a box of chocolates...you keep giving some of it to every person you love and then finally when you get married...they get the rest of that chocolate. im glad she has that piece of chocolate...and i hope she enjoys it. and i hope she learned a lot from me...that hopefully whoever she finds next is nothing like me, cuz she deserves better then all i am. cuz in the end...all i am is nothing bcuz i was stupid enuff to give her up.
i dont want to be significant in this world....i just want to help ppl. i need to help ppl. i hope i helped her!
Lord....give me strength. i know i need to grow closer to you...and i want to, but i need help. i want what you want and i will make my needs whatever your needs are.
Monday, April 26, 2010
FRIENDS
dont forget about your friends. theyre just as important as your family. they will often understand you when no one else will and be there for you when you family cant be. God,friends, and family are forever. Anything not of that is not forever.
treat freinds as family and treat family as friends. And treat God as family, but more importantly as a friend. because he will listen to you when no one else will, he will understand you when no one else can, and he will be there for you forever when no else wants to. he will be a true friend.
treat freinds as family and treat family as friends. And treat God as family, but more importantly as a friend. because he will listen to you when no one else will, he will understand you when no one else can, and he will be there for you forever when no else wants to. he will be a true friend.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
My little big girlfriend and my ginormous God.
today was a fun day! i woke up at ten...and went on the computer and stuff. after that i cleaned up the house a little bit cuz kimmy was gonna come over but i got distracted...hahaha
anyways i got an itouch today for my bday, even though its next month. i just finished updating it!!!! its so cool!!! hahaha
anyways after that i went to pick up kimmy and she looked very nice today ;D
she went to my house and then she looked around for a little bit...then my mom came home and then she had to hide cuz she was in my room cuz she wanted to look at my room. but it was awk if she came out of my room so we left teh house through the garage. i told my mom she was here and she was mad...HAHAHA im sad shes so mad about that....i dont have any wrong intentions
After taht we played little big planet on the PS3! it was a lot of fun. i hope she had fun! hahahaha it was very amsuing
ANYWAYS! haahaha we walked to cupertino highschool for praise night! it was amazing! i hope to return again...it really opened my eyes and helped me realize how far away i have grown away from God. im gonna change! i cant keep being the way i am. im so glad kimmy invited me! :D:D:D:D:D
i feel on fire for God again. im sad i didnt rly talk to kimmys friends though...i get nervous around her friends but it doesnt mean i want to be meet them! haha i need to talk to her friends more!
tonight oopened my eyes and reminded me and added to how blessed i was with my girlfriend. she may be short and look small but she has a big heart and big spirit that i fall in love with everyday im with her! And God is far from small....from day one he has been bigger tahn all my problems and im thankful for taht and im gald i rememebered taht today. I need to change!
“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” (Romans 12:2)
anyways i got an itouch today for my bday, even though its next month. i just finished updating it!!!! its so cool!!! hahaha
anyways after that i went to pick up kimmy and she looked very nice today ;D
she went to my house and then she looked around for a little bit...then my mom came home and then she had to hide cuz she was in my room cuz she wanted to look at my room. but it was awk if she came out of my room so we left teh house through the garage. i told my mom she was here and she was mad...HAHAHA im sad shes so mad about that....i dont have any wrong intentions
After taht we played little big planet on the PS3! it was a lot of fun. i hope she had fun! hahahaha it was very amsuing
ANYWAYS! haahaha we walked to cupertino highschool for praise night! it was amazing! i hope to return again...it really opened my eyes and helped me realize how far away i have grown away from God. im gonna change! i cant keep being the way i am. im so glad kimmy invited me! :D:D:D:D:D
i feel on fire for God again. im sad i didnt rly talk to kimmys friends though...i get nervous around her friends but it doesnt mean i want to be meet them! haha i need to talk to her friends more!
tonight oopened my eyes and reminded me and added to how blessed i was with my girlfriend. she may be short and look small but she has a big heart and big spirit that i fall in love with everyday im with her! And God is far from small....from day one he has been bigger tahn all my problems and im thankful for taht and im gald i rememebered taht today. I need to change!
“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” (Romans 12:2)
Thursday, April 15, 2010
ANGRY
I'M so angry right now! I hate myself....kimmy, if you are reading this...i want to let you know. that i dont want to be your boyfriend anymore.I cant even obey one stupid rule. Im the worst boyfriend you could ask for...so hurry up and find a new one. I get angry over stupid reasons and i hurt you today....and i cant say sorry cuz it wont take back what i did. i cant see you again.....if i do, i wont be able to look at you. even if you do forgive me i wont be able to forgive myself. DO I REALLY LOVE YOU!? i should love you enough to control my anger, to control my desires, to control myself. IF i cant even do that, then do i love you!? or are you just like every other girl in my life!? i dont deserve you.....i hate me....i hate what i have done. HOW COULD I GET ANGRY AT YOU LIKE TAHT!? WHEN YOU SAID YOU HATED ME IT MADE ME SO MAD! i know you were just kidding but i took it to heart! i cant stand myself....AAAHHhh.....IM SORRY KIMMyy.........................do me a favor and hate me. i deserve it....i dont know how to be a good boyfriend. ALL YOU HAVE DONE FOR ME IS HELP ME! and i cant even return the favor!!!! i cant even help you with your singing! HOW CAN I REPAY YOU! you wont let me!!! HOW DO I SHOW I LOVE YOU!!! have i not showed it already!!?!?? WHAT DO I DO TO PROVE MY LOVE!!!!! I LOVE YOU! is that not enuff!? I want to sing with you i want to hear you sing. i want you to be honest with me and be comfortable around me...if i cant do taht than im not a good boyfriend. you are too good for me.....WHY DID I GET SO MAD!!??!? im mad at myself for getting mad!!!! KIMMY I HOPE YOU dont read this.....can i still be your boyfriend? Will you let me? i dont know.....i wish i knew. im still angry and i just wanna forget about you but you wont get out of my head. i hate myself for trying to forget you and i hate that my heart wont let me. i dont want to forget you...i wanna be a better boyfriend....BUT HOW!? i am constantly left unsatisfied....i hate taht feeling.... i find it hard to love you! WHY!? i want to love you but its so hard! show me you love me....please.....why didnt you chase after my car when i left your house....i was waiting for you to follow....i miss you already...i hate myself right now. the one thing i got good in my life and i cant even appreiciate it. im so ungrateful and selfish....LORD, bring me peace. I ask for forgiveness....will she give it to me? i dont deserve her forgivness...i dont deserve it.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
HOw to train your lil bros and how to train your boyfriend
HEY humans and ailiens! i have come to tell a story and a brief instruction on how to train your lil bros and boyfriend.
Today i watched how to train your dragon!!! it was a pretty good movie! i like it a lot....surprisingly.my sister esther suggested it and tole me to take someone special to watch it! and she like it a lot! so im happy she liked it!
HAHAH
anyways....on to the manual!
HOW TO TRAIN YOUR LIL BRO:
First i would like to introduce you to my lil brothers! CALEB YOUNG and ISRAEL YOUNg. They are part of me...so if you hate them then you hate me. And if you mess with one of us...then you mess with all of us. I will start with israel! hes the most annoying person on the face of the planet. his short temper and his lazy habits drive me nuts on a day to day basis. but i love him. he makes me happy. he tells the most hilarious jokes and is always cheerung me up. He has numerous facial expressions that crazk me up. Im actually rly jealous of him sometimes. I spend a majority of my time trying to be a good older bro but another huge majority of the time being jelous. HAHAHA being jealous aint good...but i cant help it. Hes better looking, smarter, a better speaker, and more sensitive then me. He has so much good going towrads him. it drives me nuts taht he doesnt realize how lucky he is sometimes and how blessed he is. I hate when he swears but i hate it the mos when he says he hates me...it breaks my heart. the one thing worse then having someone you love not notice you is having someone you love tell you they hate you. They acknowledge your love for them and completely throw it all away with three words...The three words that can bring you joy can be changed instantly when only one word is changed. When he says i hate you to me....i almost want to cry. I changed your diapers, i make you food, i take you to and from school, i help you with your hmwk, we worked together, slept together, sweat together, bled together, and we took care of teh family together. we went through all of that and this is what it comes down to? you hate me??? how dare you....i would never say those words to you....not even in a joking matter. you are my world, you are part of me. I love you israel. I remember all the times when you were a kid and ppl hated you because your name was israel. they called you a jew but you were far from it...those teachers who hated you just because of your name...your a good kid izzy. how to train a little brother named israel? simple...you dont. you let him train you. he grows on his own and ppl flock to him and look up to him. his sensitive heart and good humor brings ppl to their knees in laughter and joy as they rejoice to the LORD. Israel alwasy gives all the praise to God...i learnd that from him. he has taught me so much. he is more of an older brother to men than i am for him. i know you will be successful one day izzy. have faith and be strong.
HOW to train Caleb young:
Caleb is a tough one...haha. i love caleb. when he jumps into the air and fumbles with his shoe laces trying to tie it with his fingerless hand just brings joy to my heart. He is such a happy kid even though he has half a brain, cant speak, and has only one hand. He is more like Toothless in the movie then anything else. caleb will alawys be left out just the way he looks. i remeber all the time ppl would judge caleb just by the way he looked. ppl would glare at him swear at him calling him a retard and a loser....i wont say i hate those ppl but i aske that God will forgive them. He can still be happy through all that!? maan...caleb you are a straight up gangsta. and i gotta admit...when you give me a hug caleb...it feels a billion times better then when my gf hugs me. no offense kimmy! haha but i mean it...to have someone like taht hug you is like being hugged by a rose covered in thorns. but in a good way. the thorns represent all the hardships my family and i went through with him. and when he hugs me those thorns peirce my body my heart and my soul and i melt. and all you can do is smile. you feel his pain when he looks you in the eyes...thats the only way he can speak. its through his eyes...he cant say i love you but he can definitely show you. and he does that when he runs up to you with the biggest grin on his face and his disabled hand flopping in the air as it swings around your waist and wraps around your back to meet his other good hand and squeezes with all his tiny might. when i hold his fingerless hand....its like a piece of heaven is gripping my hand harder. My mom told me that when caleb was born with only one hand...it was because the fingerless hand represented God's hand. you cant see it but its there. It was a reminder to our family that no matter what happens, God's hand will always be upon our family no matter how impossible the situation gets. Caleb has a huge scar across his back. When he was born, the doctors had to cut open his back. as he was born he wouldnt cry. he was silent. and it wasnt cuz he didnt know how to cry....it was cuz he wasnt breathing. The doctors despeartely tried to rececitate him and were forced to resort to pumping his heart by hand to get the oxygen flowing again. with a scapel in hand, the doctors peirced his flesh and slowly glided the scapel across his flesh making a incision revealing his heart. The doctors began to pump his heart by hand and placed inside a pacemaker. he had a sensitive heart. he still does. i love caleb. he trains me everyday. he trains me by testing my patience, haha not on purpose but bcuz he has downsyndrome,his motor skillz are not as efficent as ours. therefore, if i want him to go somewhere i gotta wait a good ten minutes for a response. but it helps me in ways you cant imagine. hes my bed mate! haha hes like a giant teddy bear. when i see him try to pick something up with his fingerless hand it makes me want to cry. why God? why didnt you take my hand? why his hand.....you take his heart, his brain, his hand!? why!? and i have realized....more anything. that we are all caleb. In his heart, exists the mos perfect soul you will ever see. but no one will ever see it, bcuz of the way he looks. caleb is what the average human looks like, just turned inside out. caleb is a beautiful child. if you hate him, you hate me,my family, God, and yourself. Caleb is no better than you and you are no better than him. hes jsut like you, and i only ask you will treat him the same. i dont know how to be a good brother but caleb does. he knows how to be agood person. i ask you treat him good and as you would to someone who has done good to you. i would give my life for him a billion times if i had to. and i would. no doubt about it. how to train caleb young? you cant...hes untrainable. hes too stupid, too ugly, too short, too slow. hes untrainable. hes my brother...hes everything i am. i am untrainable stupid, ugly, too short, too slow. i bear his burdens for him. i carry all his pains and his tears. i will be his shield. he is my trainer. he has trained me to be a shield...not a particulary good one...but enuff. enuff to protect him from the cruel world that labels him as ugly, short, and retarded. i label him and God labels him as great, amazing, pure, beautiful, sensitive, and a leader. Caleb trained me, israel trained me. Caleb has taught me to never judge ppl. no one is perfect and caleb is the very definition of that. you can see it physically and you wont admit it but you are just like him. he will do anything for someone to just listen to him. i always wonder what hes thinking in his head since he cant speak he will do his best to express it through his actions. Its this pureness about him taht makes me want to live. yea, i gotta clean up his mess and take him a shower everyday...but its worth it. who am i to conplain!? why is he a leader? its cuz hes so pure...he will ight the way to those who are lost. he has lit my way and i hope he will light yours too....let caleb train you....if you do, you will be blessed. learn from him. I feel like God put him in my life for a reason...and its to teach me something about him and his love. Let caleb teach you about God jsut as he has taught me...
How to train your boyfriend:
this ones a tough one. and its cuz im still wokring on this one...haha. the best way to put it is....dont train him. you dont gotta do anything. let love do it all. if he really loves you then trust him. he is doing his best to be the best he can be for you. and he loves you for making him a better pesron. loving someone isnt giving that person what they want or making them give them what you want but loving taht person means you will sacrifice what you want for the better of your boyfriend and vice versa. and i love you for that. you train me everyday i am with you....and i thank you for that. keep training me! thats a lot to ask from you but i have so much to learn from you. a boyfriend does need steady does of God in his life so make sure you are feeding him God's word everyday and feed his spirit. make him a man of God. He loves you and he wants you to know that. he appologizes for his previous mistakes and asks for your forgiveness. he wants to be your boyfriend but only if you will let him. and one day when y ou wanna leave him he will help you pack your bags. he loves you enuff to let you go but loves you enuff to never let you go. he may physically let you go but you will NEVER leave hsi heart, soul, or mind. he loves you and if you love him back then thats all the training you need to do. he wishes to be everything you want in a man and more. he knos it seems impossible but hes willing to reach for it. he sees her jsut like the moon. distant but lights the enire dark night sky. he cant reach her and only hopes she will let his rocket land on her. he wants to be her everything but he knows his everything wont be enuff. will she be willing to continue to love him? will she continue to let him love her and will he love her in return? well...we will see. i hope she does. i pray she does. i have yet to discover all she has to offer me...and its a lot. and i cant wait to find it. and i cant wait to find out ;)
This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. – 1 John 4:9-11
Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!"
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 New King James Version
Today i watched how to train your dragon!!! it was a pretty good movie! i like it a lot....surprisingly.my sister esther suggested it and tole me to take someone special to watch it! and she like it a lot! so im happy she liked it!
HAHAH
anyways....on to the manual!
HOW TO TRAIN YOUR LIL BRO:
First i would like to introduce you to my lil brothers! CALEB YOUNG and ISRAEL YOUNg. They are part of me...so if you hate them then you hate me. And if you mess with one of us...then you mess with all of us. I will start with israel! hes the most annoying person on the face of the planet. his short temper and his lazy habits drive me nuts on a day to day basis. but i love him. he makes me happy. he tells the most hilarious jokes and is always cheerung me up. He has numerous facial expressions that crazk me up. Im actually rly jealous of him sometimes. I spend a majority of my time trying to be a good older bro but another huge majority of the time being jelous. HAHAHA being jealous aint good...but i cant help it. Hes better looking, smarter, a better speaker, and more sensitive then me. He has so much good going towrads him. it drives me nuts taht he doesnt realize how lucky he is sometimes and how blessed he is. I hate when he swears but i hate it the mos when he says he hates me...it breaks my heart. the one thing worse then having someone you love not notice you is having someone you love tell you they hate you. They acknowledge your love for them and completely throw it all away with three words...The three words that can bring you joy can be changed instantly when only one word is changed. When he says i hate you to me....i almost want to cry. I changed your diapers, i make you food, i take you to and from school, i help you with your hmwk, we worked together, slept together, sweat together, bled together, and we took care of teh family together. we went through all of that and this is what it comes down to? you hate me??? how dare you....i would never say those words to you....not even in a joking matter. you are my world, you are part of me. I love you israel. I remember all the times when you were a kid and ppl hated you because your name was israel. they called you a jew but you were far from it...those teachers who hated you just because of your name...your a good kid izzy. how to train a little brother named israel? simple...you dont. you let him train you. he grows on his own and ppl flock to him and look up to him. his sensitive heart and good humor brings ppl to their knees in laughter and joy as they rejoice to the LORD. Israel alwasy gives all the praise to God...i learnd that from him. he has taught me so much. he is more of an older brother to men than i am for him. i know you will be successful one day izzy. have faith and be strong.
HOW to train Caleb young:
Caleb is a tough one...haha. i love caleb. when he jumps into the air and fumbles with his shoe laces trying to tie it with his fingerless hand just brings joy to my heart. He is such a happy kid even though he has half a brain, cant speak, and has only one hand. He is more like Toothless in the movie then anything else. caleb will alawys be left out just the way he looks. i remeber all the time ppl would judge caleb just by the way he looked. ppl would glare at him swear at him calling him a retard and a loser....i wont say i hate those ppl but i aske that God will forgive them. He can still be happy through all that!? maan...caleb you are a straight up gangsta. and i gotta admit...when you give me a hug caleb...it feels a billion times better then when my gf hugs me. no offense kimmy! haha but i mean it...to have someone like taht hug you is like being hugged by a rose covered in thorns. but in a good way. the thorns represent all the hardships my family and i went through with him. and when he hugs me those thorns peirce my body my heart and my soul and i melt. and all you can do is smile. you feel his pain when he looks you in the eyes...thats the only way he can speak. its through his eyes...he cant say i love you but he can definitely show you. and he does that when he runs up to you with the biggest grin on his face and his disabled hand flopping in the air as it swings around your waist and wraps around your back to meet his other good hand and squeezes with all his tiny might. when i hold his fingerless hand....its like a piece of heaven is gripping my hand harder. My mom told me that when caleb was born with only one hand...it was because the fingerless hand represented God's hand. you cant see it but its there. It was a reminder to our family that no matter what happens, God's hand will always be upon our family no matter how impossible the situation gets. Caleb has a huge scar across his back. When he was born, the doctors had to cut open his back. as he was born he wouldnt cry. he was silent. and it wasnt cuz he didnt know how to cry....it was cuz he wasnt breathing. The doctors despeartely tried to rececitate him and were forced to resort to pumping his heart by hand to get the oxygen flowing again. with a scapel in hand, the doctors peirced his flesh and slowly glided the scapel across his flesh making a incision revealing his heart. The doctors began to pump his heart by hand and placed inside a pacemaker. he had a sensitive heart. he still does. i love caleb. he trains me everyday. he trains me by testing my patience, haha not on purpose but bcuz he has downsyndrome,his motor skillz are not as efficent as ours. therefore, if i want him to go somewhere i gotta wait a good ten minutes for a response. but it helps me in ways you cant imagine. hes my bed mate! haha hes like a giant teddy bear. when i see him try to pick something up with his fingerless hand it makes me want to cry. why God? why didnt you take my hand? why his hand.....you take his heart, his brain, his hand!? why!? and i have realized....more anything. that we are all caleb. In his heart, exists the mos perfect soul you will ever see. but no one will ever see it, bcuz of the way he looks. caleb is what the average human looks like, just turned inside out. caleb is a beautiful child. if you hate him, you hate me,my family, God, and yourself. Caleb is no better than you and you are no better than him. hes jsut like you, and i only ask you will treat him the same. i dont know how to be a good brother but caleb does. he knows how to be agood person. i ask you treat him good and as you would to someone who has done good to you. i would give my life for him a billion times if i had to. and i would. no doubt about it. how to train caleb young? you cant...hes untrainable. hes too stupid, too ugly, too short, too slow. hes untrainable. hes my brother...hes everything i am. i am untrainable stupid, ugly, too short, too slow. i bear his burdens for him. i carry all his pains and his tears. i will be his shield. he is my trainer. he has trained me to be a shield...not a particulary good one...but enuff. enuff to protect him from the cruel world that labels him as ugly, short, and retarded. i label him and God labels him as great, amazing, pure, beautiful, sensitive, and a leader. Caleb trained me, israel trained me. Caleb has taught me to never judge ppl. no one is perfect and caleb is the very definition of that. you can see it physically and you wont admit it but you are just like him. he will do anything for someone to just listen to him. i always wonder what hes thinking in his head since he cant speak he will do his best to express it through his actions. Its this pureness about him taht makes me want to live. yea, i gotta clean up his mess and take him a shower everyday...but its worth it. who am i to conplain!? why is he a leader? its cuz hes so pure...he will ight the way to those who are lost. he has lit my way and i hope he will light yours too....let caleb train you....if you do, you will be blessed. learn from him. I feel like God put him in my life for a reason...and its to teach me something about him and his love. Let caleb teach you about God jsut as he has taught me...
How to train your boyfriend:
this ones a tough one. and its cuz im still wokring on this one...haha. the best way to put it is....dont train him. you dont gotta do anything. let love do it all. if he really loves you then trust him. he is doing his best to be the best he can be for you. and he loves you for making him a better pesron. loving someone isnt giving that person what they want or making them give them what you want but loving taht person means you will sacrifice what you want for the better of your boyfriend and vice versa. and i love you for that. you train me everyday i am with you....and i thank you for that. keep training me! thats a lot to ask from you but i have so much to learn from you. a boyfriend does need steady does of God in his life so make sure you are feeding him God's word everyday and feed his spirit. make him a man of God. He loves you and he wants you to know that. he appologizes for his previous mistakes and asks for your forgiveness. he wants to be your boyfriend but only if you will let him. and one day when y ou wanna leave him he will help you pack your bags. he loves you enuff to let you go but loves you enuff to never let you go. he may physically let you go but you will NEVER leave hsi heart, soul, or mind. he loves you and if you love him back then thats all the training you need to do. he wishes to be everything you want in a man and more. he knos it seems impossible but hes willing to reach for it. he sees her jsut like the moon. distant but lights the enire dark night sky. he cant reach her and only hopes she will let his rocket land on her. he wants to be her everything but he knows his everything wont be enuff. will she be willing to continue to love him? will she continue to let him love her and will he love her in return? well...we will see. i hope she does. i pray she does. i have yet to discover all she has to offer me...and its a lot. and i cant wait to find it. and i cant wait to find out ;)
This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. – 1 John 4:9-11
Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!"
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 New King James Version
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
NEW YORK...new perspective
DOODE....NEW YORK WAS CRAZZZYYYyyyy..I have neer seen so many tall buildings. the food was amazing....everything was so big. I saw the biggest macys, TGI Fridays, TOYS r US, Forver 21, M&M store, and the biggest city in the nation! DOODE....i wish a special someone was there with me to see all the sights.....she wouldve liked it so much. On the flight to new york...i couldnt sleep cuz i was thinking about her. I missed her so much. I bought stuff for her! I only bought stuff for her....i didnt buy anything for myself except a fake paining taht i got ripped off on. I thought about her everyday....the entire trip. I regret so many things taht i did to her!
Theres too much to put into text i must say it in person! SOOOoo much happened. One of My best friends had a asthma attack on the airplane! He was sitting ruight next to me!!! I WAS SO SCARED. EVERYONE WAS CRYING! but he turned out okay
WE GOT A GOLD MEDAL!!!! THE BEST IN A NATION camee to the festival and wae got the gold of golds!!! YEEEEE
"24 Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.
25 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.
26 For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?
27 For the Son of man shall come in the glory of his Father with his angels; and then he shall reward every man according to his works. "
-Matthew 16:24-27
Theres too much to put into text i must say it in person! SOOOoo much happened. One of My best friends had a asthma attack on the airplane! He was sitting ruight next to me!!! I WAS SO SCARED. EVERYONE WAS CRYING! but he turned out okay
WE GOT A GOLD MEDAL!!!! THE BEST IN A NATION camee to the festival and wae got the gold of golds!!! YEEEEE
"24 Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.
25 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.
26 For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?
27 For the Son of man shall come in the glory of his Father with his angels; and then he shall reward every man according to his works. "
-Matthew 16:24-27
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Home sick!
Doode....i didnt even leave yet and im home sick...
Im leaving to new york at 3 AM!!! im gonna miss yalll! i wanted to hang out with someone today but i cant....my mom doesnt like it! im gonna miss her and everything about her.....and im gonna miss missing her. and im gonna miss looking at her and smelling her and laughing with her. im gonna miss her smile and the way she walks the way she talks and the way she looks. i wonder if she will miss me? i hope she doesnt......but i secretly want her to...HAHA but i want her to focus on the stuff she wants to do. i dont wanna be a distraction....AHHHH i cant think about leaving. im gonna miss her. WHY DO I MISS HER SO MUCH!! I DIDNT EVEN LEAVE YET!??!?!?!? nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.........DONT THINK ABOUT ME! DONT MISS ME!!!! you are gonna be so sad....and not happy!!! I feel so weak when ever i look at her... i cant help but miss her and not think about her. it drives me nuts....my will power disappears completely and i feel weak. but i feel even more weak when shes not with me....cuz she gives me strength. God gives me strength. I hope i have the strength to do the right things. i hope i have the strength to keep what i love the most no matter how hard it gets. maybe im not home sick....i think im kimmy sick....i miss her so much....
(Isaiah 40:29) 29 He gives power to the weak. He increases the strength of him who has no might.
Im leaving to new york at 3 AM!!! im gonna miss yalll! i wanted to hang out with someone today but i cant....my mom doesnt like it! im gonna miss her and everything about her.....and im gonna miss missing her. and im gonna miss looking at her and smelling her and laughing with her. im gonna miss her smile and the way she walks the way she talks and the way she looks. i wonder if she will miss me? i hope she doesnt......but i secretly want her to...HAHA but i want her to focus on the stuff she wants to do. i dont wanna be a distraction....AHHHH i cant think about leaving. im gonna miss her. WHY DO I MISS HER SO MUCH!! I DIDNT EVEN LEAVE YET!??!?!?!? nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.........DONT THINK ABOUT ME! DONT MISS ME!!!! you are gonna be so sad....and not happy!!! I feel so weak when ever i look at her... i cant help but miss her and not think about her. it drives me nuts....my will power disappears completely and i feel weak. but i feel even more weak when shes not with me....cuz she gives me strength. God gives me strength. I hope i have the strength to do the right things. i hope i have the strength to keep what i love the most no matter how hard it gets. maybe im not home sick....i think im kimmy sick....i miss her so much....
(Isaiah 40:29) 29 He gives power to the weak. He increases the strength of him who has no might.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
where did all my tears go???
I cant cry. I want to but i cant. I WISH I COULD CRY. DO I REALLY CARE?
CRYCRYCRYCRY. maybe i will yawn. Thats the only way tears come out my eyes....or if i yank really hard on an armpit hair......I guess i wasnt meant to be a sad person....So i guess i can only be happy. Which makes me sad! ....today was a good day. I made some one really sad today...i hope they cheered up!!!! I'm sorry...
My mom wasnt mad at me!!! okay she was...we yelled at each other but then we kissed and hug. I cant even get mad at my mom, shes gone through too much....the whole entire time i was pretenting to be mad. God brought so much peace to my heart....I feel great right now! I hope you do too! and if not... i will pray for you!!!!
CRYCRYCRYCRY. maybe i will yawn. Thats the only way tears come out my eyes....or if i yank really hard on an armpit hair......I guess i wasnt meant to be a sad person....So i guess i can only be happy. Which makes me sad! ....today was a good day. I made some one really sad today...i hope they cheered up!!!! I'm sorry...
My mom wasnt mad at me!!! okay she was...we yelled at each other but then we kissed and hug. I cant even get mad at my mom, shes gone through too much....the whole entire time i was pretenting to be mad. God brought so much peace to my heart....I feel great right now! I hope you do too! and if not... i will pray for you!!!!
Monday, April 5, 2010
indescribable
Have you ever felt it??? i know you have! its pretty darn amazing....i decided to look up some love quotes and these were my favorite:
-The best thing about me is you.
Shannon Crown
You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.
-Sam Keen
"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."
-St. Augustine
Love can't be described. You know its love when you look the person you love in the eyes and you fall in love with them all over again. You know you love someone when you melt completely and cant find words to speak...but you dont need to. Love is not meant to be described. It is meant to be felt. You know you love someone when you dont need to speak, you just understand. Love doesn't disappear, just like the person you love. There body may decay and melt away but their spirit will be their to stay. Love lingers on, and speaks for itself. The definition of love is indescribable, the definition of love is the one you love. The definition of love is Kimmy Lin.
~Samuel Young
God is love, and if you are not in love with God, then you do not know love. God is the only one who can define love, and he puts it like this:
"4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.8 Love never fails..."
-1 Corinthians 13:4-7
If thats the definition of love...than we got lots to work on. The world has lots to work on...
-The best thing about me is you.
Shannon Crown
You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.
-Sam Keen
"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."
-St. Augustine
Love can't be described. You know its love when you look the person you love in the eyes and you fall in love with them all over again. You know you love someone when you melt completely and cant find words to speak...but you dont need to. Love is not meant to be described. It is meant to be felt. You know you love someone when you dont need to speak, you just understand. Love doesn't disappear, just like the person you love. There body may decay and melt away but their spirit will be their to stay. Love lingers on, and speaks for itself. The definition of love is indescribable, the definition of love is the one you love. The definition of love is Kimmy Lin.
~Samuel Young
God is love, and if you are not in love with God, then you do not know love. God is the only one who can define love, and he puts it like this:
"4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.8 Love never fails..."
-1 Corinthians 13:4-7
If thats the definition of love...than we got lots to work on. The world has lots to work on...
Friday, April 2, 2010
Understand!
my mom doesnt understand me...LOL shes so funny. but she doesnt seem to understand a word im saying. LITERALLY. she just yells at me in chinese and taiwanese so i dont even understand what she is saying. SHE IS SO FUNNY. My mom isnt good at being mad.....thats why its so funny. I wish she could understand me though. And i wish i could understand her!Pray that we may both find peace.
"4 He telleth the number of the stars; he calleth them all by their names.
5 Great is our Lord, and of great power: his understanding is infinite."
Psalms 147:4
"4 He telleth the number of the stars; he calleth them all by their names.
5 Great is our Lord, and of great power: his understanding is infinite."
Psalms 147:4
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