one of those days

have you ever had one of those days where you just missed someone you care about so much that all you wanna do is cry but you cant because you dont want your family to see? so you go into the shower and cry until you cant cry anymore? shes been there. now i have been there. i had one of those days. she felt this way when i left her and went to new york. but i came back right? now its switched around...the only difference is...she never came back. and like she said, she never will. i hope when she told me that her fingers were crossed behind her back...i promised you i would come back. thats what the necklace was for. remember? it was a promise that i would come back. and i did. thats why i was at her window the night before i left and a day after she and i broke up. i wanted to comfort her and tell her i would always be there for her. thats what it meant. i didnt want to break up the first time...i felt forced to. the second time i wanted it though....she had become a different person. she said it was because i hurt her. i dont know how. i told her i would come back. she was the first girlfriend i truly truly cared about. it felt like my first relationship so of course i will make mistakes. and she knew that.

then time went on....her old self came back but she didnt want me. and now im gone. i miss her so much. i miss her more then anything. and i keep blogging hoping that she might read one of these one day cuz i cant freakin talk to her in real life cuz she wont let me! you know how much that hurts? not being able to talk to someone you love. i was romeo, you were juliet. how can i live without my Juliet?